Stop Fat Talk.

How many times have you chosen not to wear a certain outfit because of how it'll make you look? How many layers do you have to wear to feel like the only thing people will see is your face? Have you ever opted not to go out because you were having a fat day? 

How often do you avoid looking at yourself in the mirror after you get out of the shower?

We seek the attention of others to disprove what we feel about ourselves. 

Girls chatter about how good that sweater looks, and then continues to say how she could never wear that because her muffin-tops would show. Men are told they're not allowed to be self conscious that it's feminine to feel like they're fat, so they turn to humor to cover up their emotions. Or they feel like to be a man you have to be over-sexualized and strive to be so muscular that you couldn't scratch your own back if you tried. 

In order to rise other people up we have to belittle ourselves. 

If something called you fat, or a pig, or chubby you would defend yourself and maybe even lash out at your accuser. You call yourself the same thing, so what's wrong? 

Stop identifying yourself with something that if said by another person, it's offensive.

Look at your body naked for one minute, then find something positive to say about it. Be comfortable in your own skin. Even if it starts small, gradually you'll start seeing more things that are beautiful.

You are the one person you have to live with everyday, no matter what. Loving yourself is a learning process. It starts with ending self-hate and fat talk.

Entitlement and Laziness Inhibits Success and Happiness.

Everyone when beginning a new challenge or situation, is fired up and full of confidence. We don't think of any  potential bumps because as of that moment, we feel able to overcome them. Time and energy have a way of wearing down at this confidence. When we go sprint toward something so hard we forget to remember that eventually our legs will give out and we will fall.

It's easy to not succeed in life when you are scared of an accomplishment you haven't even tried yet. It's easy make up your mind that you're not good enough, or happiness happens to everyone else, not you.

Success and happiness is not a short sprint toward a finish line of eternal bliss. It is a steady pace that is long distance and takes a lifetime of work. Even if you reach your goal of where you wanted to be, make a new one and keep bettering yourself and your situation. You cannot have a five year goal but jump ship when you see it not happening in six months. Keep running, keep improving.

In this world, it is natural to put limitations on ourselves.

Ladies, this is an amazing time for us. We're in a transitional period in the third wave of the feminist movement. Know that you are better than what is portrayed of you by the media. You are better than what society is telling you that you are: A teenaged impregnated failure. Whatever hits you- keep improving, keep loving yourself. Know you are worth it all.

Men, this is a transitional period for you as well. I believe that some of the chivalrous values are starting to come back. However you need to tame your ego that you are entitled to everything because you have a penis. Also, see the females in your life as partners. You are still seen as the dominant gender, but never forget that you cannot do this alone.

Everyone, you are not going to get anything more out of this life than what you put into it.

 We all have it in is to be more than what we are today. Falling does not mean your legs will never work again. Just as hitting bumps will not mean you will never succeed.

Internalizing Issues are Poison to Ourselves

One of the problem's I've seen in young adults and grown people alike, is this habit of internalizing. The reason why could be different for everyone:

 You're protecting yourself.

 You're protecting another.

 You'd rather post an edited version on Facebook, Twitter, Tublr, ect.

 You don't know how. 

Here's the issue.

If you feel that you're protecting yourself by internalizing a problem that you're having, you're doing the exact opposite. By internalizing the problem you're allowing the enemy within yourself to get ahold of it. That enemy will then pick apart every single detail and come up with way to make your perspective of the problem way worse than it originally was. You can only inject so many issues or problems in your mind before it starts poisoning you. 

We are taught this double standard to talk about our feelings but when the feelings are being perceived as wrong or unacceptable, we are told to clam up and "Get over it." Our internal tribulations are downgraded into minuscule problems; even if they're holding a heavy weight on an individual. If we are teaching our young children to talk about their issues then we need to listen and not dismiss it.

By dismissing it, we're creating an insecurity that no one wants to listen and therefore their problems don't matter. They do. How many cases can you think of that you just wanted someone to listen? I can say that I've had things on my heart that I wanted to get out but didn't because it wouldn't be appropriate or it might stir up something. I got scared to resolve a problem, because of a reaction I wasn't even sure of. It was the act of second-guessing. 

Acknowledge the problem.  Don't hide it under the rug because you're just going to trip over it.

If you feel like you're protecting another, how could you possibly know the outcome? I mentioned that the enemy within yourself will pick apart problems and make it worse. It can also convince you that by hiding it and not confronting it will protect whoever. It will not.  If you're worried about protecting a loved one, how much will it hurt that you didn't inform them. Or, what if they are walking to a problem that could have been avoided. It is not your responsibility to decide what protects someone or liberates them. You have a responsibility to yourself and to others to share the truth and to find resolution with your fellow man.

One of the saddest things about this day in age is our need to be connected to social media at all times. Especially for young females they share that they're sad, but are so vague about the problem that no one knows how to help. People only offer "It's okay." "You're beautiful." "I'm here for you if you need me." I think they become so addicted to the reaction that they will avoid dealing with their problem or issue to milk the virtual attention. The need to feel like someone is there is greater than the need to feel like what's bothering you is ok and resolvable. So we spew out one vague line after another and internalize the real issue.

Our first thought when we come across an internal tribulation shouldn't be how you're going to write it on Facebook. It's because we put more value on our social media output than we do on our internal health. It's a problem when a person feels so desperate to expose some personal turmoil that they have to put it out to the world instead of feeling the confidence to not internalize.

The fact that people do not know how not to internalize if a society problem. Not one person should feel like they have to carry the weight of the world. We need to eliminate the double standard and when we teach our young ones to speak about their issues, mean it. Internalizing problems can turn into actions. Sometimes its outcasting one's self, others it's engaging in violence for some release.

That's all a violent act is. A release from an internalized emotion that one doesn't know how to deal with otherwise.

We avoid internalizing by acknowledging the problem, knowing that it's ok and right to have them, addressing the problem, and finding an intelligent resolution.

How can you break someone's thinking that resolving a problem has to be an outward action of negative feelings or violence?

I believe that changing that way we see issues and problems is the first step. Creating a culture that doesn't hide behind their blank face or keyboard, but finds peaceful and loving solutions. A culture of forgiveness, and unity.

Bad things are going to happen. People are going to hurt us. It's human nature, and it's up to us how to react to it.

Even as simple as going up to someone as saying "You did (insert) and it made me feel (insert)". If they blow you off, thats not your problem. Society has molded them that way. Circumstance has callused them and made them unable to react properly. At least you made the first step.